Bearing witness

How involved do you get in other people's 'dramas'?

There might be times when you feel 'dragged into' other people's situations, conflicts or drama's. It's a human thing to want to help, make things better, be seen to be kind and empathic. Most people don't like conflict and even if they don't agree with what might be going on or with what is being said, there might be a tendency to agree, to say something you haven't thought through, and as a result not show up as your truest and most authentic self.

How secure are you in yourself that you feel completely okay with showing up fully, and truthfully? Are you in a place with yourself where you feel that it is okay to put your stake in the ground, and share your true thoughts and feelings? And then I'm not talking about judgments, assumptions, opinions, or conclusions...

I'm talking about showing up in a way where you are curious about what the other person's experience is of whatever it is that they are going through.

I'm talking about showing up fully listening to understand, not to respond.

I'm talking about showing up knowing that it's not my 'drama' and I don't have to make it mine (it's much better if I don't make it my drama anyway).

I'm talking about showing up with compassion for the other person while they go through whatever experience they are having.

This doesn't mean that you can't say anything. It's okay to ask questions to help you get clearer on what is happening for the other person. It's okay to say something about you not feeling sure about the situation, or sharing that you feel uncomfortable.

It is my personal experience that it is tempting to get drawn in when someone is in distress, especially when there are other people coming 'to the rescue' - there is a part of me that is worried about being seen or perceived as not supportive or sympathetic. My worry would be that not getting involved or sharing that I might not quite know what to think, would create 'another situation' on top of what is already going on. And how I respond depends on how I'm feeling and what energetic vibration is already active within me that might not have anything to do with the other person's situation.

It's not always easy or straightforward to keep the communication clean, clear, and under control. My invitation to you is to approach every conversation you have with someone with this question: Am I getting involved in a situation that is not mine to get involved in?

The least empowering thing for the other person is me telling them what I think they should do, as it doesn't encourage them to move forward in a way that works for them.
The most empowering thing for the other person might be that you help them get clear on what it is THEY want to do next in a way that is aligned with THEM, and constructive for them under the circumstances; this means that they might choose to do something that I wouldn't do, but that's okay as it's not my next step to make.

Are you okay with not making whatever is going on about you, and leaving the other person to have whatever experience they are having?
Can you be focused on how you are 'being', instead of on what other people are 'doing'?

Can you 'just' bear witness?